


Painted Red (To Fit Right In)

by cliniclyInsane189



Series: Whumptober 2020 [15]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Light Angst, Second Battle of Geonosis (Star Wars), Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27051784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cliniclyInsane189/pseuds/cliniclyInsane189
Summary: Aerin has a lot of thoughts and feelings to work through after returning to Geonosis for the first time since their first Master died.
Series: Whumptober 2020 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947934
Kudos: 1
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Painted Red (To Fit Right In)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Whumptober 2020 Day 16 - **‘A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day’** \- Forced to Beg | Hallucinations | Shoot the Hostage
> 
> In which Aerin _has_ just had a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day. or, a few of them. Geonosis is not a fun place. Thankfully, they aren't there any more, and this time they are _pretty_ sure they won't have to return.
> 
> Title from Radioactive by Imagine Dragons

It had been a rough few days and Aerin was now absolutely sure that if they never returned to Geonosis again would still be too soon. Though, they mused, they’d thought that last time as well.

It was hard to tell which time had been worse. This time, at least, they’d walked away from the battle on their own two feet and with their Master (more-or-less) in one piece. On the other hand, the casualties had been unacceptably high - it didn’t bear thinking about.

The door to their tiny room slid shut behind them and they began to methodically remove their scuffed armour. They should really look into getting a full set fabricated, they thought, dropping their chest plate to the ground and kicking off their boots.

The floor was cold, even through the thick socks they always wore, but they barely noticed.

They were just  _ so tired _ , their body and mind aching, but their thoughts racing too fast to meditate or sleep.

They shed their socks and the outer layer of their robes as they trudged into the ‘fresher. They stared at the shower for a moment, then flicked on the water.

They weren’t sure how long they stood under the water, but by the time they got out it was running clear into the drain and they were feeling nowhere near as… Grimy.

They dressed in clean clothes and then, after a few moments of hesitation, collapsed face-first into their bunk.

Being back on Geonosis had hurt more than they’d expected - and they’d expected it to hurt a lot. Maybe if it had been in peace-times… But no, the smell of dust and plasma and blood and smoke had, at times, threatened to knock them back to that fateful day - around a year ago, now - when the war had started and they’d lost their Master. Their first Master, Frauke Itou, who had died to save Aerin.

The worst moment had been that short but far too long period when they believed Ahsoka and Barriss to have died. Barriss was a little older than Aerin and they were friendly, yet not close. But  _ Ahsoka _ . Force, Ahsoka was only fifteen, and they’d become close after the past year. She was… She was a sister, almost, and losing her, especially so young, might even have been able to hurt Aerin more than losing their Master had.

It hadn’t, thank the Force, but it was all too easy to imagine.

That loss wasn’t going to happen again. They would  _ not _ accept such a sacrifice from anyone, not if it was solely to protect Aerin themselves,  _ especially _ if it was someone they cared about. Not their Master, not their friends, not their  _ vode _ .

No, they didn’t think they’d be able to survive that, not again.

They glanced over at where their vambraces were lying on their desk. They didn’t appear to have missed any comms, so they left them there, buried their face into their pillow, their chest feeling oddly tight, and tried to block out the memories.

Their breathing steadied - and it was odd that, until it did, they hadn’t noticed it was off - and they focussed instead on the thousands of bright sparks surrounding them in the Force, each different and each familiar.

They sighed, relaxed a tiny amount, and slipped into a half-waking state that would give them rest but keep the dreams - the  _ memories _ \- away.

It had, truly, been a terrible day.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed!


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